The following opinions expressed by Scott M. Erickson are his own and do not officially represent the views of the American Counseling Association or the Wyoming Mental Health Professions Licensing Board. The expression of these opinions does not constitute a real or implied counselor-client relationship.

Primary parenting roles need to change as our children mature and develop. Transitioning from a direct parenting role to that of a parent consultant is perhaps the most important parenting transition we make, simply because it is likely that the consulting role will be the parenting role we will play the longest.

To begin, there are some challenges with remaining a consultant/financier for our adult children. As we intentionally set the stage for a long-term parent consultant relationship, the seeds we sow will yield fruit for the rest of our adult lives with our children. Remain cautious with thoughts about and, especially, communication with an adult child in the vein of, “As long as I am paying, you need to do what I say.”

While our adult children remain dependent upon us to some degree financially, please remember that dollars invested in their behalf do not necessarily equate to the amount of influence we should expect to have. We certainly do not want to lose all influence when our children no longer need us financially.

When provided the gift of being invited by our adult children to act as a parent consultant, we need to be able to offer clear and honest perspectives without getting our feelings hurt if they choose not to employ our recommendations. Telling our children that they are free to make their own choices despite our perspective, and truly meaning it, is the hallmark of effective parent consulting.

To be frank, this is an area that I have helped people through but have not yet embarked on yet with any of our seven children. I would really appreciate it if someone would please grab me by the ear in the future and shove this article in my face when I am stamping my feet, wishing for more influence with one of my adult children.

Scott M. Erickson is a Licensed Professional Counselor in Kemmerer who has provided counseling services in southwest Wyoming for the last eleven years. Erickson’s mission is to “be a dynamic catalyst helping you to empower your best self.” He can be reached at his website www.scottthecounselor.com or his Facebook page: Erickson Counseling & Coaching LLC.